Robin Thicke Is Having A Baby With Barely Legal Girlfriend April Love Geary

August 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Repugnant papa Robin Thicke is about to be a parent again. Robin’s been out of the headlines for a minute after grossing us all out for months during his divorce and extra messy custody battle with Paula Patton. During those early, heady days of 2017, Robin and Paula had all their business up in our grills. Allegations of child abuse, spousal abuse, drug abuse and abuses against common decency were all flung in Robin’s direction, yet his girlfriend April Love Geary still thought it would be a good idea to seal the deal with Robin by putting a Thicke fetus up in her.

TMZ Reports:

Robin Thicke is about to be a father again, with a girlfriend who is barely able to legally drink. 22-year-old April Love Geary is 3 months pregnant with a girl. The baby is due March 1. 40-year-old Robin has been dating April for 3 years…shortly after his wife, Paula Patton, filed for divorce.

I’m no math whiz, but that means nasty ass Robin has been dating April since she was 19 years old. Yuck, what kind of girl gets involved with an elderly douchecanoe like Robin Thicke? This kind I guess.

I've got the blues

A post shared by April Love Geary (@aprillovegeary) on

Robin must still be rolling in that Blurred Lines money even after being found guilty of ripping off Marvin Gaye for that fuckery of a song. But, I honestly ain’t mad at April. Take note Amber Heard, April is teaching a master class in gold digging. She’s got a pick axe, old-timey overalls, a greasy mustache, speaks authentic frontier gibberish and is putting in the work!

TMZ adds:

Robin and Paula are still not divorced, and they have had an on-and-off custody war over their 7-year-old son, Julian. By the way, we’re told Robin and April told Julian this week and he’s “super excited for a little sister.”

March 1 would have been Alan Thicke’s 70th birthday.

Nice touch reminding every body that her baby will be a legacy baby. Who cares if it’s a legacy of sleaziness as long as those sweet syndication checks keep coming through.

On an mostly related note, I would like to take just a moment to appreciate TMZ’s super sweaty headline for their article about this. It reads: Blurred Sonogram Lines April’s Pregnant With A Girl. Oh, TMZ, you scamp! You can always count on TMZ. Personally, I might instead have tried something like: Thicke’s Trick About to Get Thick With Help From Thicke’s Dick.

Pic: Wenn.com

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