“American Idol” Can’t Find Anyone To Judge The Damn Thing

August 17, 2017 / Posted by:

ABC’s American Idol reboot has robotic elf Ryan Seacrest back as host, and Katy Perry as a judge that was somehow worth $25 million, and…that’s about all they’ve got, according to TMZ.

American Idol marked the first day of auditions today at Disney Springs, in Orlando, Florida with a few Idol alumni. Kelly Clarkson has pledged her allegiance to Idol’s nemesis The Voice, and clearly Carrie Underwood was too busy with that thing called having a career. Instead they got Ruben Studdard, Jordin Sparks, and Kris Allen. I guess Kellie Pickler was too busy? Or maybe she missed the ribbon-cutting after popping into Planet Hollywood for a couple winky-drinks (“Hey shug, can I get this one on the house? Wink!”).

Auditions are also happening today in Portland, Oregon.

So they’ve got people who are willing to audition for this mess, and they were able to round up a couple former Idol contestant for the kick-off party. But they still can’t put semi-famous asses in the remaining judges seats. TMZ says the people in charge of American Idol have yet to find a second, third, and possibly fourth judge for the show. That would be fine if this was a week after the reboot announcement was made. But the first auditions to be filmed in front of the judges are supposed to happen in six weeks.

Sources tell TMZ that Idol’s list of possible judges includes Lionel Richie, Charlie Puth, Luke Bryan, former Idol judge Keith Urban, and record producer Nile Rodgers. But no one is close to signing on. Lionel Richie reportedly wants a $10 million paycheck to appear as a judge, but Idol producers only want to pay half of that. Excuse me? $5 million for the reason “Hello?” gets stuck in my head at least once a month? The nerve.

Producers are still trying to decide if they want 3 or 4 judges. Okay, here’s the thing. It sounds like money is tight. Lionel Richie is reportedly their biggest get, and they’re only offering him $5 million? What does that leave for the other two judges? $1 million and access to Ryan Seacrest’s dressing room hairspray buffet? If Katy Perry is getting $20 million more, then she should be doing $20 million more’s worth of work. And yes, what I’m suggesting is that Idol producers put her in two different wigs and costumes and get her to be three different judges. Hell, if they wait any longer, they might be desperate enough to go with that.

Pic: Wenn.com

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