I wish the show Basketball Wives would change its name to Remedial Old Thirsty Broads because that’s exactly what the cast consists of. And one of them, Evelyn Lozada (whom you may remember as the creator of the always uplifting phrase “you was a non mutha-fuckin’ factor!”) should have her name legally changed to Dry Sponge, because she’s the thirstiest of all. She’s been in very high profile relationships with a basketball player, a football player and she was looking to complete the I Only Fuck Wit’ Ballers box set by marrying ex-MLB superstar Carl Crawford, with whom she has a 14-month-old son named Leo. Unfortunately, the engagement’s off. BUT, Evelyn has decided to keep the 14.5 carat, $1.4 million diamond engagement ring.
According to TMZ Evelyn called the engagement off once she began suspecting Carl of sliding into dugouts that don’t belong to her. After a four-year engagement Evelyn decided it was time to eject Carl from the game. However, she figured “Shit, you won’t be giving this ring to another bitch. Methinks I’ll hold onto it for safe keeping.”
The two were set to get married 3 weeks ago — but Evelyn pulled the plug after getting suspicious about Carl’s fidelity. Legally, Lozada is obligated to give the ring back — since an engagement ring is considered a conditional gift in California, the condition being she has to get married. But sources close to Lozada tell us … Crawford ain’t getting it back, period.
See, Evelyn is a well-seasoned gold digger. She has a kid with this dude, so she knows he’ll be kicking out a few dollars to make sure his son is taken care of or face the wrath of the court system, and who wants to deal with that shit? But as far as Carl getting that ring back? Nah, son! Evelyn plans on securing the ring in a safe far, far away from Carl (who should probably change his name to Smeagol now). Eventually Evelyn wants to pass the ring down to her kids. But not before she spends the next twenty years breaking that shit out out every Thanksgiving to regale her family with tales of the greatest jewel heist she ever pulled!
Check out Evelyn’s new family heirloom below.