Daddy Warbucks for the panty model set Leonardo DiCaprio will portray the universal genius painter and inventor of everything in a film adaption of author Walter Issacson’s Leonardo da Vinci. Look for a modern take on da Vinci’s story sort of in the vein of Demi Moore shredding The Scarlett Letter so it had a happy ending (?!?). Leonardo’s Leonardo will surely be surrounded by young, Renaissance-era maidens in chainmail lingerie while accompanied by a coterie of middle-aged pussy hunting douches who aren’t quite on his level of fame. Will Lukas Haas be playing Mona Lisa?
Deadline tells us that Paramount engaged in a fierce battle with Universal for the rights to the book. It ultimately went for 7 figures. It was snagged to be a star vehicle for Leo, and it will be produced by his production company, Appian Way. Paramount Pictures has been on life support for the past couple of years (think Allied, Ben-Hur, Zoolander 2, and something called Monster Trucks which apparently cost all the money to make and have you ever heard of it?). Supposedly this will be part of their rebound plan. Can’t you just picture the Burger King tie-in cups? Will da Vinci be working out of Avengers Tower?
The previously Oscar-thirsty Leonardo finally won the Best Actor Oscar for 2015’s The Revenant. But you know he wants all of those statues. So look for his Leonardo da Vinci to be brutally trounced by a pissed-off feminist bear somewhere between the invention of the helicopter and The Last Supper.