Back when David Letterman and Jay Leno ruled late night television, Jay probably got the bigger names because the bigger names were all a bunch of soft-ass bitches who couldn’t take the heat. Jay would stroke their arm, tell them how pretty they were, and that he thought Gigli was an Oscar contender. Dave was a big asshole, and it’s a miracle his booking team could land a guest by the end of his 6000+ episode run.
He verbally flogged Paris Hilton about going to jail after her PR flunkies demanded he not, he told Lauren Conrad she was a dramatic snooze, and even Meryl Streep arrived one night with a cold because she was afraid of what he would do if she cancelled last-minute. I sat shiva when Dave went off of the air, because well, he’s the closest we’ll ever get to having a Dlisted writer host late night.
The Hollywood Reporter is out with scoop today saying Dave is back and heading to Netflix to show Chelsea Handler how it’s done. Somewhere Jennifer Aniston is cackling, hoping this leads to inevitable cancellation. The six-episode series will drop in 2018 and feature longer interviews with a single guest and Dave exploring topics that I hope include a reboot of “Will It Float?”
What’s even more interesting about this whole deal is that he’ll presumably be down the hall from Chelsea, who always came up as an option to replace his mean old self at the late night desk. While she certainly has some bite, CBS execs decided to go with Steven Colbert. Don’t fret, Chelsea! Maybe Dave will bring you on the new show to be the new Grinder Girl! And no, sickos, that isn’t just some hag trolling for gay friends on Grindr.