Yesterday we learned the news that Elon Musk and Amber Heard had broken up after dating for just over a year. Now Elon has confirmed his breakup with Amber the old fashioned way: With an Instagram comment!
Page Six reports:
Heard, 31, posted a photo early Tuesday of herself sticking a fork into her red wig for her role as Mera in the upcoming “Aquaman,” comparing herself to Ariel in “The Little Mermaid.”
Her bemused ex commented, “Very cute.”
Musk, 46, then elaborated on the split in a subsequent comment.
“Btw, just to clear up some of the press storm this weekend, although Amber and I did break up, we are still friends, remain close and love one another. Long distance relationships when both partners have intense work obligations are always difficult, but who knows what the future holds.”
Wow, romance truly is dead and Elon is one lazy emmer effer! You’d think a guy of his means would have an army of assistants that could put together and actual press statement for him. He probably broke up with her by sending a drone to her house that dropped a little telephone on which was a text message that read “we’re done. This phone will self-destruct in 10 seconds. x x x Elon”. He seems like the type.
At any rate, Amber must have something on him, because he made nice with his comments and a “source” has couched the break-up in “both are too busy” terms. According to People:
“They had fun for a few months, but are both very busy with work now. It was getting hard to find time to see each other. Elon’s is working day and night. This is his life and he loves it. He is in no position to be in a relationship right now and ended it.”
It’s quite a pivot from what the previous “source” said, which was that Elon bounced because Amber was a manipulative drama queen. I know which story I believe. Amber posted her own announcement on Instagram this morning.
Being in the public eye means having to explain yourself to so many people, so much of the time. In this case, I'd like to remain more quiet. Although we have broken up, Elon and I care deeply for one another and remain close. Thank you for the continued support, respect, and privacy during these difficult, very human times.
Posting statements about your breakup is a funny way of “remaining more quiet.” But really, at this point, it’s all whatever. But about that Ariel picture; nah, girl. It’s a dinglehopper, you dingleberry! You are using it all wrong. And the movie is called Aquaman, not The Little Mermaid 2: Gettin’ Fishy With It. You have an actual lap not fins. Have a seat, Amber.