On Saturday night, Katy Perry and Robert Pattinson were seen having dinner at the Sunset Towers Hotel. Katy Perry is reportedly single. Robert Pattinson is reportedly “kind of ” engaged to FKA Twigs. That’s fine, who doesn’t eat dinner with people they’re not (abstractly) attached to? But they were photographed sitting closely beside each other. Okay, well that’s fine. There’s no law against sitting next to someone you aren’t in a relationship with! Although something tells me the following picture and accompanying shamefully punny caption won’t do much to kill any suspicions.
KATY PERRY, ROBERT PATTINSON: CANOODLE OVER NOODLES https://t.co/051DHC2D6V Think this is heading anywhere?
— Harvey Levin (@HarveyLevinTMZ) August 7, 2017
How is there not a chain of restaurants called Canoodles, by the way? That’s a conversation for another day, back to the issue at hand. Katy Perry has been denying she’s doing Robert Pattinson for years. Katy once admitted the rumors got so bad, she was forced to text Kristen Stewart and assure her they were all lies. Katy has yet to deny this latest situation.
The Daily Mail points out that Katy and Robert only sat together at dinner. Afterwards, she was seen leaving in an SUV with two female friends.
I’m not confident it was that kind of dinner between Katy and Robert. First of all, Robert Pattinson isn’t really Katy’s type (she likes them tall, dark, and douchey). Second, Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigs is a match made in aloof hipster heaven, and I believe him cheating on her with a mainstream pop star would throw the universe out of alignment. Katy was probably just asking Robert, hot off all of that dog-wanking press, for tips on how to get some publicity for her upcoming VMA’s hosting gig.
The only thing we know for sure is that their side of the table at the restaurant probably definitely smelled like farts.