Fans of goofy-yet-still conventionally attractive oversharing Hollywood couples weep today. Although this news is probably secretly pleasing to hardcore Parks and Recreation fans who couldn’t ever imagine Andy Dwyer with anyone but April Ludgate. After eight years of marriage (aka approximately three decades in Hollywood years), perfect-seeming funny couple Chris Pratt and Anna Faris have called it quits.
38-year-old Chris and 40-year-old Anna got together while filming Take Me Home Tonight in 2007, and got married two years later. Chris announced the news first on Sunday night on Facebook with a kind of boilerplate explanation of why they were separating. They tried! They’re bummed out! They want what’s best for their 4-year-old son Jack!
Anna followed that up by Tweeting the exact same thing. You know you’ve really checked out of a relationship when you’re like: “Text me a copy of that announcement, I want to go to bed.”
— Anna Faris (@AnnaKFaris) August 7, 2017
You’ll note that Anna’a announcement is missing the part about having deep respect for each other. Might that be her subtle way of stamping CONFIRMED on those Jennifer Lawrence homewrecking rumors? Who knows! But their split might also have something to do with Big Hollywood Actor Chris being away a lot of the time; a source tells People magazine Anna often seemed unhappy while Chris was away filming.
As for details of what will happen going forward, they haven’t said. We don’t know anything about divorce papers, or a custody situation, or if Anna will get spousal support. I doubt she will. Chris Pratt has been in giant billion-dollar blockbusters, but you’ve got to remember that Anna has made some serious money too. I’m sure my thousands of rentals of The Hot Chick (until I finally bit the bullet and bought a DVD copy in 2014) put at least three million in her bank account.
I guess the only possible fight will be over who gets to dispose of any remaining pets they might still have. “You take it and get rid of it.” “No, you take it and get rid of it!” “That’s it, I’m calling my lawyer.”