Sean Spicer will not be appearing on Dancing With The Stars as was previously speculated. If you were hoping to see Spicy decked out in tight sequined pants taking his podium for a spin on the dance floor, cheek to mic in a passionate and fiery paso doble, sorry, that dream is canceled.
Sources close to Spicer tell us the former White House Press Secretary was flattered by the opportunity, but because he believes he’ll have an “overwhelming number of commitments in the Fall,” he declined the offer.
The fact that a former press secretary of the actual United States of America might have even been considering DWTS as his next big move is absurd times preposterous divided by ludicrous to the power of cockamamie. But that is the world we live in now. When the entire White House is a 3rd tier reality shit show, Spicy considering DWTS is a benign amusement but dammit, it was the benign amusement we deserved! TMZ ads:
As for whether Spicey had the skills to truly compete on ‘DWTS’ — our source said, “He’s not a good dancer.”
TMZ, come on. Do you really need “a source” to tell you Sean can’t dance? He could barely stand and deliver. He would have been a spectacular train wreck on the dance floor and a spectacle from whence we were all going to get our collective life. Hopefully one of his other many projects that will be keeping him busy this fall will also include other opportunities for ridicule and bemusement. Maybe he’s gonna spill all the tea in China and redeem himself. He won’t of course. Sean was a disappointment to The President, a disappointment to the press and a disappointment to America. Why should he stop disappointing now?