Open Post: Hosted By The Florida Daddy Who Saved A Drowning Pussy!
Destin, Florida is the Monaco of the Redneck Riviera: air-brush t-shirt shops on every block, fried fish shacks where you can also get lotto tickets and a case of beer, and Waffle House’s and Chick-fil-A’s as far as the eye can see. In short, it’s heaven. Well, it was heaven until the other night.
Jordan Smith, a charter fishing boat captain, was toodling around in his boat when he thought he saw trash getting dumped off a bridge. Only, it wasn’t trash. It was a cat using up one of its nine lives! The soul-patched daddy (yes, he looks like a general manager of a Chili’s, and, oh hell yes, I would) told Tampa’s 10 News how he sweetly picked up the puss and plans to bring it on home:
That’s all sweet for the viewers in Tampa. But he saved the real Southern heat for the New Orleans ruffians! The Crescent City’s Fox 8 picked up how his gentleman act was just that, and should he sail upon the dipshit who dropped Boo Boo Kitty off the bridge, he’s going to reach into his mini-fridge and open up a can of ice cold WHOOP ASS.
Jordan posted the picture above onto Facebook and dared, “To the piece of shit scum that just threw this cat off the destin bridge…. PLEASE let me find out who you are. #letsfishdestincharters.” Now, is that a threat to use the jerk as fish bait on an upcoming charter? Because that’s some Game of Thrones shit and kinda dark. Or is it just a shameless plug for more business? Because that’s some Real Housewives shit, and Bethenny Frankel is somewhere crying at discovering a worthy heir and drafting up a contract to bring this man into the Skinny Girl fold.
Pic: YouTube