Anthony Scaramucci is the stuff from which legends are born. Like a greasy comet that oozed across the sky leaving a tail of Drakkar Noir and Frappuccino foam, he passed through our solar system and was gone before we knew what had happened.
Well, one thing what had happened was speculation that a relationship with Fox news correspondent anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle may have been part of the impetus of his demise. According to TMZ:
Anthony Scaramucci’s unceremonious White House exit is linked to a story about rumors he was dating FOX News anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle … and his departure came on the heels of a TMZ inquiry to the White House.
TMZ speculates that Anthony’s “now infamous tirade” was prompted by the news of a private dinner both he and Kimberly attended at The White House being leaked to the press. TMZ reported:
Sources told us, and now Scaramucci confirms, he went ballistic over the White House dinner leak because Kimberly was at the dinner and he knew about the dating rumors that were circulating.
I’m sure momma Mooch always warned ‘lil Mooch that his temper would get him into hot water some day and of course she was right, because he was summarily fired shortly thereafter. Momma Mooch also probably warned ‘lil Mooch to keep his ‘lil ‘lil Mooch in his pants and he probably ignored that too.
Anthony is good at ignoring some things, including his new born baby who, according to the Huffington Post, he still hadn’t met as of Tuesday (Jesus, is it really only Wednesday today!?! Dat news cycle though). Evidence shows that Anthony sucked at his job, sucked at being married, sucked at (allegedly) sneaking around, sucked as a Lamaze coach and, by his own admission, sucks at dancing. Still, like the Phoenix from the flames of a tire fire, Anthony rises still, as evidenced by this HuffPo exchange:
So what are you going to do next, I asked him.
“I am now going to go dark,” he said.
“Then I will reemerge.” He paused. “As me.”
So, I guess Comet Mooch will return. I can only hope I’ll still be alive to experience its splendor when it does (because there is no way this guy stays underground for more than a couple of weeks).