“Laguna Beach 2.0” Is All Kinds Of F’d Up

August 1, 2017 / Posted by:

And, no, it’s not from all the keg stands! I was waiting for Girls Trip to start last weekend, and a commercial for something called Siesta Key came on. Throw in a Hilary Duff track and me in peculiarly late-stage braces, and it would have been like being back in high school watching Laguna Beach. Only, these kids seem even more insufferable than the Laguna crew.

Siesta Key kind of made me want to take a siesta after spending two minutes watching its dull, dull, dull cast. Instead of the artsy one reading Sylvia Plath while listening to AFI and trying to reject his (parent’s) wealth, or the slow one trying to read Cat In The Hat in a park by the Pacific, this crop just seems to be about tossing Sun-In in their hair and finding who to fuck to get into the best party house. Silly kids, that isn’t supposed to happen until you’re pushing 30 and too cheap to get a summer share on the Cape!

Well, apparently there were people out there who took a look at the show and were more than pissed off. People reports a premiere party in Sarasota got cancelled because death threats were lobbed at Siesta star Alex Kompothecras (second from left in the pic). Alex’s father, Dr. Gary Kompethecras, said the cancellation wasn’t just because of the death threat, adding, “I wouldn’t say that’s the only reason. There are other reasons.

Other reasons?! Like what, Dr. Gary?? Because you still haven’t figured out which cast member will take on Lauren Conrad’s reign as Kohl’s and arts-and-crafts Kween?! Don’t fret! That’s usually figured out by season 2! Actually, it might be because video surfaced of Alex’s turd alert friend dragging a shark behind his boat. Animal rights activists went HAM and demanded a boycott of the show. Alex said he didn’t condone the behavior, but Anna Wintour will be the first person to teach him that animal rights activists never forget – just look at how many coats PETA has ruined or dead raccoons they’ve sent her way at fancy dinners! Just kidding, Anna wouldn’t be caught dead on that side of Florida.

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