Archives: July 2017
Hot Sluts Of The Day!
Scarlett & Black!
You know a musical duo is made up of high-potent, industrial-strength glamour when they look like the runners-up of a Nelson and a Marie from Roxette look-alike contest. 911 got a call from me yesterday to report Google Images for criminal blasphemy after I Googled “pics of Scarlett and Black” and got a lot of pictures of Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow. How offensive! Pictures of Twink Fabio and New Wave Susan Powder should’ve been the only pictures that came up after I Googled “pics of Scarlett and Black.”
Birthday Sluts
Charlie Carver (29)
Rico Rodriguez (19)
Victoria Azarenka (28)
Alexis Knapp (28)
Zelda Williams (28)
B.J. Novak (38)
Zac Brown (39)
Will Champion (39)
Annie Parisse (42)
Eve Best (46)
Ben Chaplin (48)
Dean Cain (51)
J.K. Rowling (52)
Wesley Snipes (55)
Mark Cuban (59)
Michael Biehn (61)
Geraldine Chaplin (73)
France Nuyen (78)
Don Murray (88)
Richard Griffiths (1947-2013)
Pic: Pinterest via Cocktails and Cocktalk
Open Post: Hosted By Riley The Carpet Shark
Maybe she just had too much to drink? Who hasn’t shoved themselves home that way? I hear crickets. Traitors.
Tastefully Offensive has introduced the world to “The Carpet Shark.” Riley is a two-year-old Boston Terrier from San Francisco. She seemingly enjoys the friction of scooting herself around using her hind legs. Look, life gets boring. You need to do something weird once in awhile to entertain yourself (and scratch your chin when your lazy-ass human won’t).
Riley is on Instagram and probably has more followers than you. Don’t be jealous, just start scooting. On your upper front. The other way is gross and indicates your dog needs assistance with an issue. Watch Riley in action, below.
Pic: YouTube
“American Crime Story: Katrina” Is Currently In Limbo
The next season of FX’s American Crime Story was supposed to have been about 2005’s Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath. But it looks like speedos and serial murder trump terrifying natural disaster and the destruction of almost an entire city. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, one of the directors of ACS’ first season (The People Vs. O.J. Simpson) says that the show might not happen at all. Continue reading
Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Was 9 Months Pregnant When She Filed For Divorce
The wife of insufferable off-brand Sopranos character Anthony Scararmucci (aka THE LEGIT COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR OF THE DAMN WHITE HOUSE. Yes, I used Kanye caps because it’s that awful) filed for divorce from him when she was nine months pregnant. If she didn’t, the baby would have shot out of her holding a smartphone with Laura Wasser’s info programmed. Continue reading
Dr. Luke Has Subpoenaed Lady Gaga In His Defamation Suit Against Kesha
Lady Gaga might want to start planning a ridiculous courtroom entrance outfit and an appropriate album tie-in stunt (faking a jump off the courtroom roof?), because Dr. Luke subpoenaed her, according to US Weekly. The beyond ugly multi-lawsuit battle between the producer and “motherf*ckin’ woman,” Kesha, shows no signs of slowing. His legal team wants Gaga deposed about some texts that Kesha allegedly sent her. Continue reading