Tokyo Toni, the Don Quixote of the Pacific, is tilting at windmills once again. Last week, Blac Chyna’s mom showed us what real class looks like by posting an eloquently phrased and unimpeachable reprimand directed at Caitlyn Jenner in defense of her daughter. Today, our heroine Tokyo has stood up on her high ass (you know this woman can’t be trusted with a horse, she’d steal that bitch’s ponytail!) yet again to defend Chyna against ex-fiancée Tyga, who went on Power 105.1’s The Breakfast Club radio show and dared to say a few nice words about her.
We’ve had many, many up to the minute updates about Ben Affleck and his new lady Lindsay Shookus. Like how they got together, how they really might have gotten together, how Jennifer Garner feels about the situation (not great!), and how Lindsay is handling being a famous-adjacent person now. But the question remains: how are Ben and Lindsay really doing.
There is an update to add to the ever-growing list of things to know about Ben and Lindsay. UsWeekly says they’re “going strong.” As if there was any alternative? I don’t think anyone would ever be like “Oh, it’s so tragically weak. Like the enamel of a fruit punch drinker. Their relationship is practically covered in zip-ties and duct tape to prevent it from falling apart.”
Several sources have spoken to UsWeekly with some insider details, and I don’t know if their relationship is strong so much as it just sounds like it’s fine?
The two-time Oscar winner has been “casually dating” Shookus since April, says an Affleck insider, “and he’s very happy with her.”
“Lindsay is an incredibly intelligent woman,” says another Affleck pal. “They have really good conversations and just like hanging out with other.”
I don’t know if those sources even had to come out and say it. It’s very obvious that Ben and Lindsay like hanging out with each other. It’s evident in those matching outfits! That shot above was taken Wednesday night after Ben and Lindsay checked out of their hotel in New York City. I would say a relationship is officially worth it if you’re willing to risk missing your scheduled check-out time so you can spend an extra 45 minutes picking out perfectly coordinated cool blue-and-gray ensembles.
I remember when the word “scandal” really used to mean something. They used to involve murder, intrigue, the toppling of governments, cum stained dresses and coke cans full of pubic hairs. What passes for a scandal these is pathetic. Even when we have all the ingredients (the Russians, the cops, sex cults!), nothing ever seems to come of them. Well, today that all ends. Some Deep Throat motherfucker #tooktotwitter (#nevergonnagiveyouup) yesterday and delivered unto us the smoking gun: A video of Bella Thorne diddling herself and moaning something about a “frother.”
The NSFW video is after the jump!
While promoting Girls Trip during an appearance on Watch What Happens Live on Thursday night, Jada Pinkett Smith was asked about the “craziest rumor” she’s heard about her family. Now, you might think the craziest rumor about the Pinkett Smiths is that they’re secret Scientologists. But that’s not really that unbelievable when you remember some of the stuff that has been said in the past by Jaden Smith.
Johnny Depp is broker than a motherfucker. So broke in fact, as we know too well, that he’s suing his former business managers for $25 million dollars. His suit claims that the firm, TMG, never warned him that he needed “slow his roll,” that they loaned $10 million dollars to third parties without his knowledge, failed to pay his taxes for him, made him sell his house in France, didn’t get him the pony he asked for last Christmas, and for generally being big stinky meanie heads.
The First Lady of Japan, Akie Abe, who became the First Lady of Our Hearts when she shaded Donald Trump by pretending to not know English, and yes, I’m choosing to 100% believe that story even though those fun-killing haters at The Washington Post wrote a buzz-murdering piece titled: “Why Japan’s first lady was probably not snubbing President Trump.”
Shut up, Washington Post, just let me look at that above picture of Lady Akie and believe she’s saying, “I know English, but I don’t how to speak Asshole, so I’m not talking to that bitch.”