George Clooney Is Mathematically The Most Beautiful Man In The World

July 30, 2017 / Posted by:

Those of us who are non-mathletes are always asking – “why math?” Sure, science, making change in your head and like, bingo, all require math. But cosine and “x equals 3,” and other nonsense just confuse the vacuous and take up the valuable time that schoolchildren could be spending on Snapchat! Well, someone has finally demonstrated that math has a purpose. It’s for figuring out who’s hottest in the face!

MailOnline (via Newsweek) reports that a London plastic surgeon has used a mathematical equation to prove that George Clooney is the most beautiful man in the world. Dr. Math Face needs to go back to the blackboard, because I don’t see anything about the circumference of Tom Hardy’s pillowy sex lips in this Newsweek story.

Dr. Julian De Silva used facial mapping technology and an ancient Greek formula known as “the golden ratio” to determine that Booker from Roseanne’s face could have started the Trojan War. Brace yourselves; there’s math ahead.

Mathematically speaking, the golden ratio, represented by the number 1.618 or the Greek letter for “phi,” occurs when the summation of two quantities is equal to the ratio of the quantity as a whole. It may have been used in architecture and art to create what was believed to be the most aesthetically pleasing designs that exhibited perfect symmetry.

Dr. De Silva figured out that George’s face is a 91.86% match to the 1.618 ratio. (I’m assuming Tom Hardy’s mug didn’t make it into the computer.) His face qualifies as mathematically “perfect.” Perfect? George is debonair and all, but I’m not sure math is using the same standards as the rest of us. Dr. De Silva goes on to say:

“He has beautiful facial symmetry and gets closer than any other man to having what the Greeks considered the perfect face.”

Other celebrities that made that judgey computer’s list included Brad Pitt, two dudes from One Direction, and Will Smith (Who obviously used the powers of L. Ron Hubbard to swing that, because, for real?).

According to De Silva’s analysis, the most beautiful men are:

George Clooney — 91.86%
Bradley Cooper — 91.80%
Brad Pitt — 90.51%
Harry Styles — 89.63%
David Beckham — 88.96%
Will Smith — 88.88%
Idris Elba — 87.93%
Ryan Gosling — 87.48%
Zayn Malik — 86.5%
Jamie Foxx — 85.46

Please keep in mind that math used for shallow purposes determined that George Clooney tops the most beautiful CELEBRITY list. There’s surely some yak-herder guy in the Carpathian Mountains whose face melts underthings and stops horse-drawn cart traffic dead in the village square. (Tom Hardy’s taking some sort of legal action against this shameful snub, right?)


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