Sean Spicer Tapped For “Dancing With The Stars”

July 27, 2017 / Posted by:

We all knew that just because Sean Spicer quit those bitches at The White House, he wasn’t going to go gentle into that good night. Spicey is ready to cash in his chips and get that paper now that he’s been unchained from his podium in the fortress of solitude, or wherever he’s been hiding out these past few months. Sean hasn’t been wasting time either.

According to Page Six:

Spicer, who announced his resignation Friday, was seen coming out of high-level meetings at ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox News in Manhattan, according to sources. A source told us some news execs “made the full-court press” as they competed to woo the high-profile spokesman — who brought in solid ratings and plenty of late-night fodder — while others “just kicked the tires.”

That’s right, Sean’s been doing the ho-stroll up and down 5th Avenue and there’s one John in particular who’d really love to tap uh-thaddass: Dancing With The Stars! Page Six says they have heard from a “TV insider” that ABC has definitely reached out to Sean about appearing as a contestant.

You’ll of course remember then ex-Texas governor and current secretary of energy Rick Perry was already on the hit show last year. And since we now live in a world where up is down and sideways is a pony named Beryl, anything is possible! Page Six also says:

Reached by phone on Wednesday, Spicer said: “I have no comment.” An ABC rep said, “We don’t comment on casting.”

So of course, this is all alleged. But, I can already see what type of contestant Sean would be. He’d do anything to win. He’d throw beads on the stage to trip James van Der Beek, he’d push Raven-Symoné down a flight of stairs while no one was looking, and he’d sneak into Gene Simmons’ dressing room and cut holes in all his lace fronts (ABC, I am doing the work for you here. Hire me as your new casting director, my rates are quite reasonable). What I’m saying is, Sean Spicer is a total Nomi Malone.

Pic: YouTube

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