Justin Bieber Ran Over A Pap

July 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Despite his claims that religion has nothing to do with his recent decision to cancel his tour, Justin Bieber had a real “Jesus take the wheel” moment last night when leaving church and accidentally ran over a paparazzo. TMZ reports:

Justin was leaving the Saban Theater, where he’d been worshipping (sic) at a City Church event. He climbed into his monster pickup truck as photogs scrambled around the vehicle, and when he gunned it to pull away … hit the man. It’s pretty clear in the video … Justin’s front right side tire hits, or rolls over, the paparazzo.

This is why Jesus is better suited as a co-pilot and should not be allowed in the driver’s seat. Have you ever tried to drive in sandals? It’s not easy. Plus, the long sleeves on the robe tend to hinder mobility. It’s a well known fact that Jesus is much better at water-skiing than he is at driving. Thankfully, Justin did the right thing and got out of the car to tend to the wounded man, while dozens of spectators and paps stood around recording and taking pictures. According to TMZ:

Justin did not flee the scene and, in fact, stopped as soon as other photogs pointed out what had happened. Bieber stayed right by the man’s side for roughly 8 to 10 minutes until paramedics and police arrived.

I’ve got to say, I’m impressed with how Justin handled the situation. Those paps are real a-holes and I’m surprised this type of shit doesn’t happen more often. He could have just sat in the car and waited for the cops to sort everything out, but Justin followed the golden rule and kneeled down next to the man and talked to him, making sure he was ok until the paramedics arrived. It was quite a spectacle!

The best part of the video is that some dillweed was standing over them the whole time, practicing a bit of very sloppy faith healing. You can see his outstretched hand and hear him say “We speak peace, peace peace and order… Heal and bless him lord, in the name of Jesus… Peace, heal and bless him in the name of Jesus” etc.

Now, this is pure speculation, but there is one frame where you can kind of see this mystery man of God (check the red brim on the baseball cap) and I wonder if it’s not Justin’s own personal Jesus conduit and hipster pastor Carl Lentz.

LOVE these two legends…and speaking of love…A wise man named Paul once said…"Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies." If somebody says they "love you" but you don't SEE THESE THINGS? Gaurd your heart! If you have experienced love like this? Best thing you can ever do, is share it w/ as many people as you can… another wise man named Christopher Wallace said "spread love, it's the Brooklyn way.." May it be OUR way, day by day.. #occupyallstreets #aviatorsmountup #longerthetrafficlongerthecaption

A post shared by Carl Lentz (@carllentz) on

Or maybe it was just somebody trying to be funny. In either case, it was! And paps, here’s some general advice:

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