Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 27, 2017 / Posted by:

The giant metal asshole on top of the Atlanta Falcons’ new stadium!

I don’t know much (Bitch, shut up, I hear you saying, “WE KNOW!“), but I thought I knew of most of the important b-hole and dick-shaped structures that have made the rounds on the internet. So my own b-hole frowned at me (although, it’s always frowning at me) yesterday after I just learned about the humongous puckering silver dirt star on the new Mercedes Benz Stadium in Atlanta. After several delays, the Mercedes Benz Stadium, which cost $1.2 billion, will open on August 26th and that’s when the glorious puckering pinwheel asshole was supposed to make its grand debut and become the gaping jewel of Atlanta! But sadly Atlanta Magazine reported yesterday that when the Atlanta Falcons begin their pre-season, God, birds and people in planes won’t be able to look down and see players tackling each other’s tight asses inside of a giant gaping asshole. God will have to wait to stick his tip into the Falcons’ stadium’s open asshole.

The roof, which Deadspin calls “Megatron’s Butthole,” needs more work and isn’t pucker-ready, so it’ll stay clenched for a while. Steve Cannon, the CEO of the Falcons’ parent company, said at a board meeting that the stadium’s hole will stay as tightly shut as most holes when exposed to that GIF of Guy Fieri tongue-ing water. And it’ll stay that way for a while.

“The event calendar is pretty tight,” Cannon said after the board meeting. “We’re going to be doing the mechanization in the background [of these events].”

Cannon said he is “confident” the roof will be operable for at least part of the Falcons season, as well as the Atlanta United season, whose final regular season home game is currently scheduled for October 22.

Afterward, Atlanta Falcons CEO and President Rich McKay said he expected the roof will be operable for “more than one” Falcons game.

The people of Atlanta should refuse to pay taxes until that majestic sphincter can open up, because some feel like that stadium is fucking them. And if you’re going to get fucked by a stadium, you may as well get fucked by one with a puckering asshole.

Pic: YouTube

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