Robert Pattinson Says He’s “Kind Of” Engaged To FKA Twigs

July 25, 2017 / Posted by:

I am not kidding when I say I just looked out my window to check and see if any large, scary gray clouds filled the sky. I got this nervous feeling that the remaining Twihards (their numbers may be small, but their obsession is strong) might collectively react to this news by mentally manifesting an angry storm. Thankfully they might be kept busy trying to decode Robert Pattinson’s purposefully cryptic message.

But back to the issue at hand. RPattz was rumored to have given his lady of almost three years FKA Twigs an engagement-type ring a few years ago. He never really confirmed it, because RPattz is private like that. But then he was sort of cornered while promoting his latest film Good Time on Howard Stern Tuesday (via People). Howard Stern referred to her as his “fiancée” and asked him if it was true he was engaged, to which Robert replied:

“Yeah, kind of.”

Howard pressed RPattz further, asking if he was being vague because he wants to keep his relationship private. And yes, RPattz wants to be private, and it’s all because the Twilight fans can’t handle the truth.

“It’s one of the most frustrating things in the world, because you want to be able to [talk about it]. I mean, it’s literally like, to kind of get stuck in this position where people, you know, you have to make these decisions whether you wanna let these kind of crazy people in. Because, for whatever reason with Twilight, I don’t know whether it is this specific thing with the audience, but there’s a crack-troupe of crazies, who think every single decision you’re making is creating some kind of conspiracy…”

I would be interested to hear more about this crack-troupe of crazies. I’m picturing the The A-Team, but riding around in a van airbrushed with Edward Cullen’s face on the side, and all prone to crying “Oh god, he’s so beautiful.

The bad news is, he just managed to make things even more confusing for those people. He would have been better off to just say “Yes I am engaged” and brace himself for the inevitable online meltdowns. Instead what he’s done is give them a new conspiracy to obsess over. “Kind of. Kind. Of. K. Kristen. In. Of…love. He’s still in love with Kristen Stewart, I knew it!!!


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