America’s most high profile bag ladies, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, were bridesmaids at close friend/watch designer Cassie Coane’s wedding this weekend, where the dress code for all the gals was simply floral (groundbreaking!). Rookie mistake, Cass! You never give an Olsen twin an open-ended FAHSHUN command, because one of them inevitably is going to arrive wearing some $10 million piece of WTF that looks like a Sunday school arts and crafts project. Sure enough, while Ashley kind of kept it basic with a black cocktail dress that included what People calls a “statement sleeve,” Mary-Kate threw on what looks like a comforter stolen from the bed of a 1960s-era Woodstock Holiday Inn. The kimono was paired with green mules, floral headband, and the signature Olsen scowl. One of the wedding attendees even managed to catch the
Loch Ness Monster twins smiling on camera:
The upstate New York bash seems like pretty standard Olsen fare: Paleo cooking over an open flame where the poor chefs had to wear old-timey costumes (“What?! I’m dressed like a half-ass geisha! I’m in on the fun, too!” -Mary Kate), orange flower necklaces for the bridesmaids that most certainly never touched a pristine Olsen décolletage, and personalized watercolor illustrationzzzzz. There was no word on what time Mary-Kate’s shift at Benihana started later that night or whether some smartass had the balls to project It Takes Two onto a nearby Hudson River Valley barn, but a boy can dream!