Looks Like America’s Favorite(?) Plastic May Have Landed The Role Of Barbie

July 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Thespian Club Barbie Anne Hathaway must have taken that jeer to heart over the years, because the Hollywood Reporter is saying Anne is in talks to take over for Amy Schumer in the live-action Barbie movie. I can already imagine Anne renting a pink convertible from the Hertz at LAX, donning one of Kim Zolciak’s wigs and driving over to producer Amy Pascal’s house to perform Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” on her front lawn, refusing to leave until she gets the part. “I was born for this! America already thinks I’m a stiff!!! Did you know I have an OSCARRR?!”

Amy Schumer’s Barbie was supposed to be all about feminism and identity. Amy’s woke Barb was to suddenly realize she didn’t fit in at the dollhouse, and make a beeline to the real world, because there are obviously no fake, plastic people on these shores! Clearly, Barbie wasn’t going to turn on E! or pass a newsstand while on her enlightened trip to reality.

Sony wouldn’t comment on negotiations, but the movie is still targeted for release next summer, which means Anne’s next chance for an Oscar has to get moving pronto! Amy had to drop out because this thing sounds like a fucking disaster she had scheduling conflicts. Now that she’s just sitting around certainly NOT sticking pins into an Emily Blunt as Mary Poppins voodoo doll, Anne has all the time in the world!

Pic: Wenn.com

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