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July 22, 2017 / Posted by:

PDQ Instant Flavored Beads!

Many a “nasty bitch, ewwww” looks were thrown my way as a kid by my little friends when they watched me eat spoonfuls of Ovaltine powder straight from the jar. To my abuelita, Ovaltine powder was like the dried blood of Jesus and I’m surprised she never mixed it with holy water (“borrowed” from her church) and injected it straight into her veins. We always had Ovaltine in the house and it was also my God since it was one of the only sweet things that my mom bought. And the other day I learned that in the 1960s, Ovaltine jizzed out an even better instant drink creation: PDQ Instant Flavored Beads!

PDQ (which stands for “pretty darn quick” and not “penis discharge quinoa-shaped-balls”) were like dehydrated coagulated jizz balls that came in flavors like strawberry, chocolate, choco chip and heave-inducing egg nog. You could stir them into milk to create instant flavored milk, or you could eat them with ice cream, or if you were really a PDQhead, you could snort lines of them with your nostrils as a friend shot them up your ass with a straw.

Wikipedia says that Ovaltine put PDQ beads on shelves in the 1960s, and at the time, most instant flavored drink mixes were powdered, so it boggled minds and became a hit. But by the late-80s, nobody wanted to stir flavored tonsil stones into their milk anymore, and by the 90s, Ovaltine had completely discontinued PDQ beads. Every jar of PDQ beads had something on its lid (like Marvel superhero stickers), so jars are up for sale on eBay.

Apparently, PDQ-like products are still sold in Europe and elsewhere out of the U.S. So if you’re not in Europe or elsewhere, then you’re probably jealous of those who are, because they get to flavor their leche with Tinkerbell’s anal beads and you don’t.

Pic: Pinterest

 

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