Last night I linked to some pictures of Jessica Alba on vacation, and she seemed in all of them to be attempting to cover her stomach area. At the time I was like “Who cares, you’re on vacation, let it all hang out.” But now I realize she had a very good reason for obscuring her midsection from the paps. Jessica Alba is pregnant for the third time.
Jessica and her husband Cash Warren already have two daughters, a 9-year-old Honor and 5-year-old Haven. But they clearly wanted to do the baby thing again. She pulled her kids away from whatever they were playing with (fidget spinners and Hatchimals?) to help her announce the news on Facebook and Instagram yesterday with some giant balloons.
Jessica’s post-baby corsets are no doubt very excited about this news. After years of sitting in the back of her closet cinching dust bunnies, they’ll finally be useful again.
Jessica doesn’t say when she’s due or give any other details. Like if she discovered she was knocked up by peeing on an all-natural chemical-free Honest Company pregnancy test. I don’t think those exist, but they seem like they’d be very on-brand. “Congratulations, you’re honest-ly pregnant!” But best of luck to Jessica and Cash. In ten years, they’ll have a kid in middle school, a kid in high school, and a kid in college. Does The Honest Company make extra-strength headache pills? Jessica might want to look into that.
As for the name of Future Baby Warren, my guess is Jessica will go traditional. Aka it will start with an H and sound like a word picked off the cover of an airport bookstore novel. Or maybe, Jessica will finally honor her greatest acting role to date. See you soon, baby Honey!