Zig-A-Zig-OUCH! Scary Spice Must Pay Stephen Belafonte $40K/Month

Mel B must be longing for the simple days when a cat fight meant hiding Ginger Spice’s Tesco hair dye, because that bitch stole the last of the Tampax right before it was time to sing on Top of the Pops.

TMZ reports that a judge has granted Scary Spice’s scary-as-fuck estranged ex-husband Stephen Belafonte’s nutso request for emergency spousal support. Stephen says he needs it for food, housing, and his phone. What data plan are you on, Stevie?! Throughout this whole ordeal, I’ve wondered why he couldn’t just pay his way with the royalties his family was making from that “Banana Boat (Day-O)” song, but I’ve learned he is not related to the Calypso King (“Thank GOD!” –Harry Belafonte).

I’d hate to be an America’s Got Talent contestant going before Mel anytime soon, as the judge ordered her to pay (on top of the $40,000) Stephen’s legal fees, which add up to $140,000. Someone suddenly has to prove her worth a little more than usual to Simon Cowell, since Stephen’s Cricket bill depends on it! Some poor memaw whose talent is that she can juggle her walker and two bedpans is going to get barked at to go home, because the lady from Leeds, England needs to last another four seasons to keep up with her alimony payments!

Pic: Wenn.com