Hot Slut Of The Day!
Nabisco’s Suddenly S’mores from the 80s!
Everybody knows, that s’mores are the hardest culinary dish to pull off. You have to practically be a Le Cordon Bleu graduate to have the skills to make perfect s’mores. (“Don’t look at me, even I can’t make the perfect s’mores.” – a Le Cordon Bleu graduate.) First, you have to strain your finger muscles while breaking off the squares of graham crackers. Second, you have to strain your fingers more by breaking off the squares of chocolate. Third, you have to risk getting first-degree burns while cooking the marshmallow on a campfire (or if you do it like me, on your gas stove). Fourth, your nerves end up splitting and you punch the air when your marshmallows end up totally burnt instead of perfectly burnt. Shit is stressful and will leave you tossing the stick and ruined marshmallow and saying, “Fuck this, I’m having s’more red wine and Xanax instead.”
But in the late-80s, Nabisco made everyone’s life a million times easier when they put out instant s’mores called Suddenly S’mores. Suddenly S’mores were s’mores that you’d heat up in the microwave. Who wants to go through the stress of making s’mores around a campfire while listening to your stupid friends tell their stupid stories? Why do that when you can make s’mores at home in the microwave and then take them to your room and gobble them down to drown out the loneliness?
And one of the biggest mysteries of the 80s will be: Why in the hell didn’t Nabisco redo Suddenly Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors as Suddenly S’mores for their commercial?! (Side note: Come for the Suddenly S’mores commercial and stay for the glamorous graphics of Judith Krantz’s Till We Meet Again.)
Suddenly S’mores probably didn’t last long, because well, by the late 80s, most of us were probably making our s’mores in the microwave already. We were all gourmet like that.
Pic: Nabisco