Hot Slut Of The Day!
The statue of David’s Upside Down Dick from Goonies!
Last month, Norway’s cut-off dick rock was HSOTD and my friend and sometime contributor to Dlisted, Lahoma, reminded me of the original chopped-off stone peen from Goonies! When all of those messes are at Mikey’s house, the ball of klutzy buffoonery that is Chunk breaks the magnificent and exquisite one-of-a-kind statue of Michelangelo’s David. And by one-of-a-kind, I mean one-of-a-million that was bought at a swap meet.
Chunk must share a bloodline with Lorena Bobbitt, because he ended up breaking the best part of David: David’s dick! Now if I was a Goonie, that’d be the part of the movie where I would bust a CITIZEN’S ARREST on Chunk for destroying a priceless (yes, I consider $12.99 on clearance as “priceless“) work of art and ruining a good, hard dick! Those are two felonies. Chunk ends up racking up yet another possible felony charge when he glues David’s dick on upside down. Donald Trump must be filling to the top with jealousy knowing that this David can piss on his own face.
The truth is, Chunk is an accidental genius artist, and his David with the upside down dick should be showcased right next to the real David in Florence.
And you know, I don’t know how I’d hit it, but I’d definitely still hit David’s upside down dick.
Pics: YouTube