Originality Is Over: Spider-Man Is Tapping Mary Jane Again

July 14, 2017 / Posted by:

The only thing that’s more exhausted than a casino cocktail waitress when I’m at the penny slots (heyyyy, big spendahhhhh!) is the Spider-Man franchise. So it only makes sense this Spider-Man media tour would also reboot the old “the co-stars might be dry humping” story. People reports Spider-Man: Homecoming star Zendaya is helping co-star Tom Holland shoot more than spiderwebs out of his canister, as the two have been dating while filming.

A source told People:

“They’ve been super careful to keep it private and out of the public eye but they’ve gone on vacations with each other and try and spend as much time as possible with one another.”

Awe, that sounds so nice, but Giuliana Rancic’s BFF slapped back on Twitter, saying Spidey hadn’t taken her to so much as a goblin’s lair:

While Zendaya ignores that $18M Brazilian Airbnb vacay she took last year, another source snitched to People:

“They’re both really ambitious and they challenge each other — but, most importantly, they make each other crack up. They seem to have a really similar sense of humor and love joking around together. They have great banter back and forth.”

Yes, but what do they think about Dodd-Frank repeal, source?! That’s what we all really want to know! I get it, ever since I saw Tobey Maguire buff up for his turn on the Spidey throne, I’ve gotten the tingles anytime I saw a dude in red, which has really posed a problem in Target. Apparently Emma Stone was the same way, because that’s how she and Andrew Garfield started to boink.

Fret not, Z! Using the Goldilocks school of thought, the first Spider-Man was a Pussy Posse member. BLECH! Too Horny! Spider-Man 2 was gay, non-practicing. ICK! (but same here…ok, fine. An uncomfortable amount of practicing.) Too Confusing! Your Spider-Man is Billy Elliot! Also kinda gay, but juuuuust right!

Pic: Wenn.com

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