Hot Slut Of The Day!

Pepper, the pampered princess who’s got the internet jealous of her spoiled bitch life!

Whenever I travel anywhere and can’t bring my dog with me, I usually check him into a dog motel, because I can’t trust him at home by himself for long periods of time. I know he’ll get revenge on me for all those times I’ve wronged him (aka the times I made him watch stupid, ugly cat videos on YouTube and the times I didn’t give him bacon from the table) by barking non-stop until the neighbors complain to the Animal Police and by shitting on my weed stash. But Pepper’s human is not like me. Not only does Pepper stay at home, but whoever her caretaker is has to work to keep her living that pampered life.

Twitter user @TommyRivers has been getting attention for tweets about taking care of his Aunt Elaine’s dog, Pepper, while she’s away. Aunt Elaine told Buzzfeed that Pepper is like her child and she was nervous about her nephew taking care of her pampered soulmate since it was his first time. Aunt Elaine got specific with Tommy about how her furry princess should be treated, and he tweeted those instructions.

My aunt is having me house sit and watch her dog and omg she's too much lol pic.twitter.com/a6t7LGFFDR

— Tommy (@TommyRivers) July 9, 2017

Pepper (aka the Most Beautiful Girl in the world. Yes, she’s who Prince was singing about) isn’t to have carbs and she must get hugs, a kiss, a belly rub and a dog bone every other day. Tommy has to text a picture of Pepper to Aunt Elaine every day and FaceTime with her. The “Don’ts” are that Tommy is to not yell at her, spank her, let her escape and most importantly: “Don’t you hate her cause you ain’t her.”

I’m pretty sure Mariah Carey has that last one in all of her contracts.

That last one is also a hard one for all of us to follow. I’m sure everyone is hating on her cause we ain’t her. That list is also a good set of instructions to give to a new boyfriend. But scratch out “no carbs” and “don’t spank” and replace give a “dog bone every other day” to “give a bone every day.”

And because Pepper became a viral star, Tommy tweeted this picture of her smiling at her new fans while dressed like Stephanie Tanner at a slumber party:

Update: you made her really happy and now she's going to bed lol pic.twitter.com/KkwYRDibBw

— Tommy (@TommyRivers) July 11, 2017

Now let me pray to my St. Bea Arthur candle to please, please, please bring me back as one of Aunt Elaine’s Pom Poms in my next life.

Pic: @TommyRivers