Tales From The Kardashian Krypt Part Two: Baby’s First Corset

July 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s new childrens’ clothing line is dropping in a few days. So naturally, little match girl North West has been turnt out onto the streets wearing the a few of the latest styles to help pad the family coffers, so she pay her eventual therapy bills. North looks super cute as always. However, one part of her outfit is raising a few eyebrows: an itty bitty kid sized corset.

North today ?? #northwest #kimkardashianwest

A post shared by NORTH WEST (@noriwestsource) on

The little lace up number, worn over a slip dress, is paired with a custom pair of Yeezys and a Calabasas branded ball cap. Now, before you get your panties in a bunch (personally, I prefer to keep them that way. I’ve grown accustomed to the feel and actually find it quite pleasurable), BET reports:

The corset that North is wearing, however, is not boned and does appear to be soft. So don’t worry, she’s not being tortured — at least not by this garment.

Hopefully North will have a couple more years before she starts corset training with auntie Khloe and shitting her brains out with Pimp Mama Kris. And I know I’m being optimistic by saying, “a couple more years.

As to the rest of the outfit and the Kid’s Supply clothing line, I continue to be baffled by the appeal. In the now notorious Snapchat of the Candy or Coke Caper (see Tales… Part One), Kim details some of the items that will be available when the new collection comes out. The custom Yeezy kicks on offer are the work of a 10 year old “artist,Harlow.

Did they abduct poor Harlow and put him or her in the back of a van with a box of sharpies and a crate of Yeezys? I hope they threw in some juice boxes and crackers for the poor child, at the very least. But wouldn’t you want your kid to be able to customize their own pair? My hypothetical kid will get a pair of Keds a half size too small and BIC pen like mom used to do and be happy about it.

And these leopard slides? If my pretend daughter likes this look I will gladly march her to the dollar store for a pair of slippers and a doggy chew toy and put her to work at the kitchen table with the hot glue gun. And they will surely turn out better than these Muppet-trocities. My pretend daughter is a genius with a hot glue gun; I have her stone all of mommy’s swim-wear.

Like many, I will never, ever understand this family. I am utterly baffled by them. Their transparent thirst is dazzling. I have got to give them mad props, because they are really doing most. If they could just stop with this current generation though, that would be great. I hope and pray that little North West will grow up to the be the Christina Crawford of the Kardashian family and eventually go on to write that tell-all book we all know is coming. Now that I will buy. Take my money now, child. Send me a link so I can pre-order it today.

Pic: Instagram

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