Drunk Driver Blows Down Three Little Pigs House

July 11, 2017 / Posted by:

Ken and Kelly Downs are blaming Magnolia Reality, the company owned by HGTV’s Fixer Uppers stars Chip and Joanna Gaines, for tricking them into purchasing a home in a really shitty Waco, Texas neighborhood. How shitty you ask? Well for one thing, a drunk driver somehow managed to give Bo and Luke Duke a run for their money and do some serious damage to their home, nicknamed The Three Little Pigs House.

The Waco Tribune reports that the Waco Assistant Fire Chief Don Yeager said:

The yard is built up several feet, and he hit the embankment of the yard, apparently went airborne, and like a lot of older homes, this house was built up off the ground, so he cleared the rest of the yard. He didn’t hurt the hedges, but he took out the railing on the porch and went right into the window of the front room and hit an interior wall that might be a load-bearing wall.

That’s some next level drunk driving. Luckily the homeowners, Ken and Kelly Downs, were not injured. They were sleeping in an adjacent bedroom at the time of the accident. Ironically, they were probably saved by a design choice made by the Gainses.

In the home renovation by “Fixer Upper’s” Chip and Joanna Gaines, a brick fireplace had been relocated in the office and likely was what stopped the car. The next room the car would have hit, was the bedroom where they were sleeping when the crash happened, Kelly Downs said.

The Three Little Pigs house was saved by a brick wall? Levels, man! According to the Downses, drunk drivers aren’t the only menace in the Waco neighborhood. Kelly Downs also said, It’s like the Wild West here.

While the Downses encountered some problems with their home after moving in, the neighborhood had issues they did not expect: late-night noise from nearby bars, suspicious activity and push-back, some of it anti-“Fixer Upper,” from local residents when they complained to police.

It seems many local residents are not here for these TV types coming in and running up property taxes. According to People, The Downses specifically moved to Waco in order to live in a Magnolia designed property. To make matters worse, The Downses, along with many Fixer Upper buyers, are renting their homes on sites like VRBO and Airbnb. And people are buying it! As anyone who watches that shiplap porn of a show knows, Waco is becoming an actual tourist destination, because fans of the show really want to stay in a famous house they’ve seen on TV. No wonder then, that Kelly says We have been intimidated and harassed, and that There’s a big problem here. It’s not safe.

"The little shack on the prairie", season 4 finale of #FixerUpper. Don't worry – season 5 is coming! #HGTV

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There are a few things that every red-blooded American should probably know. 1) Don’t Mess with Texas. Texas has made this VERY clear. Texas does not condone this sort of Hollywood fuckery! 2.) Waco is famous for one thing, and it’s not southern hospitality. I’m sure there are some lovely parts of Waco, but apparently the Three Little Pigs House neighborhood is not one of them. 3.) Location, location, location! What type of dim bulb buys a house without first researching the neighborhood it’s in? You can’t blame anybody but your damn self for that. Besides, the rule is buy the worst house on the best block not the worst house on the worst block and bring a TV crew.

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