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July 8, 2017 / Posted by:

The Wee Wild Things!

The Wee Wild Things is probably the nickname for Tom Cruise and David Miscavige’s super badass Scientology bathhouse boy gang, but back in the wonderful world of the 80s, it was the name of a doll line that Mattel put out.

Ghost of the Doll says that the Wee Wild Things made their debut on toy shelves in 1987. They were Olsen-sized dolls who probably were Nicki Minaj’s (circa 2010) wig idols, dressed like 80s kindergarten ravers and had names that made them sound like black market candy dealers/drag queens (Ruby Doobie, Rhoda Soda, RitzyMisty, etc…) They looked like the acid trip baby of Polly Pocket and a Troll doll. They each came with a little playset and you (or your parents) could also buy bigger playsets. According to Ghost of the Doll, Mattel described the Wee Wild Things like this… and yes, I’ve heard that “biggest little thing” line before.

“Welcome to the itsy-bitsy, wicky-wacky world of Wee Wild Things! They’re 1 1/2 inch characters with names like, “Zany Janey,” “Kicky Nicky” and “Rhoda Soda!” Each doll has posable arms and legs, long, “neon-colored” hair, and comes with her own personalized plaything! There are three outrageous playsets, too, each with a Wee Wild surprise inside! And a Liv-In Limo, the wackiest home on wheels! Wee Wild Things: They’re the biggest little things to come along in years!”

I don’t think the Wee Wild Things made it past the 80s. Polly Pocket, who was also sold by Mattel, came out not too long after the Wee Wild Things did and lasted a lot, lot longer (the Polly Pocket dolls were discontinued in 2015). I see what happened here. Polly Pocket may have come off as a do-gooding, sweet, wholesome type, but I bet she got jealous and wanted to take the title as the ruler of the itty bitty doll market, so she started a vicious rumor that the Wee Wild Things were taking illegal drugs to stay small. I never trusted that Polly.

Pics: Etsy, Etsy, Etsy, eBayGhost of the Doll

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