I promise I won’t fill this post with stupid and nonsensical “shook” puns like I did with the last one.
Prepare to be SHOOKus (I lied). When the news of Ben Affleck and his new girlfriend, SNL producer Lindsay Shookus, came out earlier today, X17 said that the two have a history and he was even humping on her while he was dating Jennifer Garner. Multiple sources are now telling both People and UsWeekly that Ben and Lindsay have been boning on the side for years while he was married to Jennifer and she was married to fellow SNL producer Kevin Miller. Somewhere, The Nanny is filling with sadness and is not feeling so special, because she probably thought she was Ben’s lone side trick.
People’s sources and UsWeekly’s sources basically say the same thing. Ben and Lindsay have known each other for a while and in 2013, they got into some double homewrecking messiness when he started bumping his wrecking ball peen against her bull dozer vagina. Sources say that when they weren’t doing it in a hotel in NYC, they were sexting with each other. People’s sources say that The Mandarin Oriental in Manhattan was their own little cheater’s paradise and they were regulars there.
“Both of them were married at the time. They were having secret rendezvous every time he came in to New York City and other places, too. Both of them were cheating on their spouses so they were very careful about it. Jen and [Shookus’] husband both found out about it around the same time a few years later.”
UsWeekly’s source says that both Jennifer and Kevin found out about the affair in 2015 and were both “devastated.” Ben and Jennifer officially broke up that year. Lindsay and Kevin, who got married in 2010 and have a daughter together, also ended things around that time.
People and UsWeekly both have different sources telling them the opposite. Those sources say that Ben and Lindsay have been friends for a bit and have only been dating for three months. One source says that Lindsay isn’t the reason why Bennifer 2.0 fell to pieces.
Where have all these sources been this whole time?! Suddenly they’re all crawling out from under their rocks and are ready to tell all. It’s as if one scorned source (whose name totally doesn’t rhyme with Kennifer Varner’s Bublicist) saw the pictures of Ben and Lindsay, got pissed and decided to get revenge by spilling the (alleged) truth! My main takeaway from this story (if it’s true) is that if you’re a celebrity and you want to have an affair without anyone finding out for years, take your side piece to The Mandarin Oriental. That place is like the no-tell motel for famous richies, apparently.
Pic: Getty, Wenn.com