Hot Sluts Of The Day!

July 3, 2017 / Posted by:

The singing bean and the singing rice from ABC’s nutritional cartoon PSA from the 80s!

So, I know it’s Fourth of July (and Canada Day) weekend and everything, and we should be worshipping at the tips of hot dogs, corn dogs, hamburger dogs and any other kind of wiener we’re lucky to get our mouths around. But let’s not forget the bitches that are down for us throughout the year: beans and rice! Because my brain is a dented, scratched and worn out time capsule that’s filled with highly useful information from the 80s, the Beans & Rice song came to me out of nowhere the other day.

Back in the days of peak TV (the 70s and 80s), ABC actually made itself useful by creating several cartoon PSAs that aired on Saturday mornings. Those PSAs made stars out of that Hanker For A Hunka Cheese crackhead from the 70s and The Bod Squad ads, but my favorite was from the early-80s and starred a singing bean and a singing grain of rice who wanted you to eat them. Today, a pro-carbs commercial for kids starring a singing bean and a singing rice would make the likes of Goopy Paltrow scream for a boycott since that shit is a danger to our children, but back then it was the best thing.

My cousins used to say that the Beans & Rice song was about me since I’m half Hispanic and half Asian. Leave it to my cousins to turn a song about food into a charming racist ditty.

That commercial was cute back then, but now that I’m a grown, it’s not really that cute to me anymore. I’m going to have a really hard time eating beans and rice while stoned, because every time I bite into a bean, I’ll imagine my teeth decapitating a singing legume.

Pic: YouTube

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