Open Post: Hosted By The $10,000 Pizza Bikini

July 2, 2017 / Posted by:

Well, at least it’s slightly more attractive than Gaga’s meat lover’s supreme dress.

A restaurant group called Villa Italian Kitchen is celebrating National Bikini Day on July 5 (is it National Bikini Day already?) by introducing us to the swimwear we didn’t know we needed – the Pizza-kini! Hold the anchovies. Please.

The Pizza-kini was designed by food stylist Jessie Bearden and will cost those who want to wear their “favorite pizza” $10,000. According to The Huffington Post:

“For just $10,000, we’ll set you up with our food stylist and help you get fitted for your own suit made from only the freshest ingredients, including homemade, hand-braided dough, 100-percent whole milk mozzarella cheese, sauce made from fresh California tomatoes and delicious pepperoni – all in honor of #NationalBikiniDay.”

There is so much that can go wrong with this. Getting mozzarella out of your pubic bush for one. Wild animals attacking you for your swimwear for another. I DO want to meet the person who would actually buy this, though. That’s going to be a silly individual with a lot of extra money who can probably be convinced to buy just about anything for kicks. You know, purchases like clothes, electronics, airline tickets, and cars for certain conniving friends who are willing to take advantage of their whimsicality.

Pic: The Huffington Post

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