Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 28, 2017 / Posted by:

The Fiber Optic Flower Lamp!

The magnificent explosion of technologically advanced elegance that is the fiber optic spray lamp was Hot Slut of the Day in 2013, and now it’s time to honor its equally as glorious and stunning fiber optic sister. While the fiber optic spray lamp looks like a unicorn’s breathtaking wet fart, the fiber optic flower light lamp looks like flowers from the Garden of Eden that were sprayed with a unicorn’s breathtaking wet fart.

I couldn’t find much information about the fiber optic flower lamp, but if I had to guess, I’d say that its creator got the idea after strolling through the park one day and witnessing Liberace sneeze all over a bushel of flowers, which covered them with sparkly lit-up glitter. I believe the fiber optic lamp was born sometime in the 1970s. You can still find this exquisite work of lit art on eBay, Etsy, finer yard sales and whatever landfill my abuelita’s ended up in. My abuelita had one that one of my aunties bought for her at a swap meet. It filled her bedroom with spectacular glamour…until it broke a few years later. She still kept it in her room for years and years, because it was still a thing of pure beauty even while broken.

Here’s a hypnotic video of a fiber optic flower lamp in action…. If a bunch of fairies had a sloppy orgy on top of flowers and busted nuts everywhere, the aftermath would look like this.

I wish my abuelita never threw hers away, because if she hadn’t, I probably would’ve inherited it and it would be the crown jewel of my living room. But then again, if it was in my living room, I couldn’t invite anybody over because those jealous bitches would obviously try to snatch it!

Pic: Etsy

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