Pimp Mama Kris isn’t just only a world-renowned pimp, she’s also a fame whore herself and isn’t afraid to shamelessly sell shitty products (I mean that in more ways than one) for a quick check. Like many fame whores (including ones she’s related to) before her, PMK pimped out the fairy tale in a grey packet called Flat Tummy Tea on Instagram yesterday.
So many people (read: the people she hires to ask how she stays in shape and stays looking good) are always asking PMK how she stays in shape and looks good. The answer to that is obviously behind PMK in that picture. No, that’s not a pilates machine. It’s a torture device used to cause pain to her victims so that when they start screaming, she inhales their fear, which melts her fat away. But since PMK is a Kartrashian, telling the truth is against her nature so she told her followers that the secret to her lipoed body is the caca tea she was paid to endorse.
#ad People always ask me how I stay in shape and looking so good. I detox regularly, especially pre-summer. @flattummytea is my this year’s summer must-have and uhhh, I feel amazing (go get some today, there’s a 20% off sale on!)
That ad is pretty amazing, honestly. I didn’t even have to buy that scam tea and I still lost about 2 pounds from barfing and shitting after picturing PMK going, “Uuuuuuuuh.”
Many people smelled bullshit while looking at that picture and it wasn’t from the load of pimp diarrhea that filled her leggings from drinking laxative tea. It was from the obvious Photoshop and Facetune job. You don’t really have to zoom in to see that PMK’s arm got a visit from Photoshop:
Never mind that Kris should really enroll Boy Toy Corey in a better Photoshop training course (that’s who’s Photoshopping this shit, right?), I really have to give it to her. Kim Kartrashian has been found guilty of crap Photoshop jobs before, so this is really on brand for PMK. I also have to give her credit for keeping a straight face while acting like a bag of tea is really what keeps her in shape. Although, it’s kind of easy to keep a straight face when you can’t really move it anyway.