It’s been much too long since the ears of the world have been gently caressed by the velvety wave of powerful musical notes leaping out of the mouth of the most beautiful and talented swan in Britain, Katie Price! Katie’s highly impressive singing career started out in 2005 when she auditioned for Eurovision and she hasn’t released any music for a while. But musical talent has been brewing inside Katie and she could no longer resist the urge to let it all out.
Katie has a new song out called I Got U. You can’t get it on iTunes in the U.S. Apple did have it on iTunes worldwide but their servers were brought down by billions of people trying to download the song of the millennium, so they yanked it off. Katie performed the song on Big Brother’s Bit on the Side last night (click here to watch it, motherfuckers won’t let me embed), and also on the talk show Loose Women (she’s a guest panelist on that) earlier this week. The other panelists were left stunned and were obviously not ready for those vocals, which were a mixture of recorded auto-tuned track and hound dog getting castrated without sedation. Katie not only can do a flawless impersonation of a Blow-Up Doll (see: picture above), but she can stun hos with her glorious voice. I can’t hate on Katie’s dancers for not really staying together. It’s physically impossible to concentrate on dance moves while in the presence of such natural, overwhelming talent!
Of course, haters slammed the nightingale of England for both performances, and said that she made their ears bleed. Katie said that she had “technical problems” during her Loose Women performance and doesn’t care about the haters. Katie shouldn’t care, because they have no idea what they’re talking about. Of course their ears bled. Their ears bled from the sheer power of that voice hitting them. They weren’t prepared, just like they weren’t prepared over a decade ago when Katie and her then husband Peter Andre delivered a whole new world of talent. Haters will still say this was auto-tuned.
Welcome back to the world of music, Katie! Ears have missed you (but Adele, Celine Dion and Barbra Streisand haven’t, because they have to file for unemployment now).
And here’s Katie “Putting Adele Out Of A Job” Price at Royal Ascot today: