Since Prince Hot Ginge wants nothing to do with the crown, I should remove it from my homomade (on purpose typo) PHG Real Doll during our “dates.” You know, to make the experience oh-so-realistic.
PHG did a long interview with Newsweek and he mostly talked about his charity stuff, but he also talked about how losing his mom at a young age really fucked with him, and he gave his thoughts about the future of the monarchy. He didn’t talk about Meghan Markle, but a “source” did and said that things are still new between them and if they get engaged, it won’t happen before the end of the year.
PHG says that his mom wanted him and his brother to live as normal of a life as possible, so he does his own grocery shopping and buys his own meat (wink win), but he also knows that he’s a prince and believes that his country and beyond still needs the magic of the monarchy.
PHG says that during his mom’s funeral on September 6, 1997, he had to walk behind her coffin in front of a crowd of thousands and as millions watched at home. That moment left deep scars on his soul and it had a lot to do with why he spent some of his twenties boozing it up and acting a wreck. PHG’s main goal is no longer trying to snort more streams of vodka than his douche bros. His main focus is now charity work and bringing the monarchy into the 21st century. PHG isn’t about to talk his way out a job, so he says that Britain needs the monarchy. They’re not wearing glimmering jewels and living in palaces for themselves. They’re doing it for the people. Yes, you should cry for them, because none of them really want to sit on the throne.
“The monarchy is a force for good, and we want to carry on the positive atmosphere that the queen has achieved for over 60 years, but we won’t be trying to fill her boots. We are involved in modernizing the British monarchy. We are not doing this for ourselves but for the greater good of the people…. Is there any one of the royal family who wants to be king or queen? I don’t think so, but we will carry out our duties at the right time.”
Oh, PHG, let me ease your pain of being famous and privileged. Give away your fortune, abdicate your place in line for the crown and run off to rural New Zealand with me where we’ll raise goats far away from Buckingham Palace. I won’t ever call you “king.” “Ginger daddy,” yes, but “king,” no.
But seriously, PHG needs to speak for himself! We all know that there’s one British royal who is a regular Simba and just can’t wait to be king. Do I even need to say who that is?
So THE QUEEN, Prince Charles and Prince William need to step down and let the TRUE King of England happily rule with an animal crackers crumbs-covered fist!
And here’s THE QUEEN at Royal Ascot today. It was Ladies Day, so I also threw in pictures of ladies showing off the hats that will definitely end up in the gutter after they get ten kinds of plastered.
Pics: Wenn.com, Royal Mail