Prince Philip Is Laid Up In The Hospital With An Infection 

Princess Charlotte could be in the process of covering her nose after smelling a royal fart (that was dealt by Princess Beatrice, her face is an ocean of fart guilt), but I’m pretty sure she’s sneezing, which could mean she was sick, which could mean she passed something to her great-granddaddy. See, this is why I instantly turn into Julianne Moore from Safe when a child near me so much as gets the sniffles.

Prince Philip spent the day at Royal Ascot yesterday, but by nighttime, an infection fucked with him so bad that he was shuffled off to the hospital. Buckingham Palace released a statement today saying that 96-year-old Prince Philip is getting treatment for an infection and is in “good spirits” (which might be code for “making the nurses uncomfortable with his signature cracks.”) Because he’s in the hospital, he had to call in sick to work today.

“The Duke of Edinburgh was admitted to King Edward VII Hospital in London last night, as a precautionary measure, for treatment of an infection arising from a pre-existing condition. Prince Philip is in good spirits and is disappointed to be missing the State Opening of Parliament and Royal Ascot.”

Last month, the other Royal PP announced that after August, he’ll be officially retired from making public appearances. He’s also been hit with the sicks, like heart and stomach issues, throughout recent years.

Without her man by her side today, THE QUEEN gave a speech at State Opening of Parliament today and she was also at Royal Ascot. WWMS (What would Morrissey Say)? London is apparently hotter than a Prince Hot Ginge jizz shot, THE QUEEN is 91 years old and her man is in the hospital, and yet she still showed up to work, did her job and provided her subjects with a heavy dose of fashion by dressing like a really ladylike Peep.

Pics: Wenn.com