Kim Kardashian has a lot on her plate at the moment. She’s got two kids to text the nannies about, a new puppy that will eventually be dumped onto somebody else, a makeup line that she has already been accused of getting into blackface for. Kim is reportedly looking to get even busier by having a third kid with Kanye West, and TMZ says that they’ve already hired the surrogate who will carry it. This new baby news is coming a few days after the news broke that Beyonce gave birth to her second and third kids, which is much longer than the last time she tried to yank the spotlight away. I’m surprised that Kim was able to exercise such fame whore restraint.
Kim has talked a lot about having a condition called preeclampsia. She had a rough go with North West, and she was warned by doctors that her second one with Saint West could spell trouble. Kim isn’t taking any chances with this third one and is paying $45,000 for a surrogate.
If the surrogate gets pregnant with more than one baby, she gets a $5,000 bonus for each additional one (my fingers are crossed for a sextuplet situation for you, anonymous surrogate!). This one is a little weird. If the surrogate loses reproductive organs, she gets $4,000. Only 4k if your uterus drops out? Come on Kim, don’t be such a cheapskate – you spend twice as much each week having your earlobes Botoxed.
As per their contract, the surrogate is required to do all the normal surrogate things: no smoking, no drinking, no raw fish, no sex for three weeks after the embryos have been implanted. But what about all the prenatal preparation needed to get this new baby ready for living with Kim and Kanye? The surrogate could play an ongoing soundtrack of Kanye ranting about being the best at everything and Kim drowsy-talking about her favorite selfies. Or if that’s too much work, maybe just think about slipping it a set of ear plugs when it pops out.