19-Year-Old Tom Cruise Was All About The Bible And Blowjobs 

June 21, 2017 / Posted by:

Somewhere Ted Haggard is reading that headline and falling in love with 19-year-old Tom Cruise.

Curtis Armstrong is best known to me as Bert Viola from Moonlighting, but he was also Booger in Revenge of the Nerds was in Risky Business with a then 19-year-old Tommy Cruise. Curtis wrote his memoir, Revenge of the Nerd, and an actor can’t put out a memoir unless they fill it with juicy shit about other actors. So Curtis wrote about working with Tommy and said that he was a strict square who never wanted to go to the bar with them. Before Tommy was the Jesus of Scientology, he was reading about the real Jesus. Curtis writes that Tommy was a born again and like any good born again, he balanced his bible study with getting his dick sucked by randoms.

Curtis says that he does a “HUH?” every time he hears rumors about how Tommy’s Scientolohole also howls for peen. Because when Curtis worked with Tommy in the summer of 1982, he knew him as a 100% heterosexual cooch chaser. Everyone on the set knew that Tommy and 23-year-old Rebecca DeMornay were doing it and he also got plenty of chick ass on the side. Curtis says that after shooting one night, he asked Tommy if he wanted to get a drink with them. Tommy declined and said he needed to spend time with his lines and the word of the lord. via The Hollywood Reporter

He self-identified as a born-again Christian and the rumor was he had actually considered shepherding souls for a living. I could believe it. Away from the set, initially, Tom made straight arrows look like corkscrews. I would ask him at the end of the day if he would like to join us at the bar for a drink. “No,” I recall him saying, “Got an early call tomorrow. Got to work out still, study my lines. And then I like to read the Bible a little before bed.”

I laughed. He didn’t. “Ah,” I said, cutting off the laugh at the pass and nodding wisely. “A little bit of the Good Book before bedtime, eh?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Just a little at night. Keeps me on the right track, you know?”

When Curtis got back to the hotel that night, he walked by Tommy’s room and found three or four girls (who looked like they were in their late teens) standing in a line. Curtis asked them if they needed help with anything. A second later he found out that Tommy was a teenage Hugh Hefner.

They just stared at me, and at that moment, Tom’s door opened and another girl came out, adjusting her hair and taking off down the hall, while the first girl in line slipped into Tom’s room. This was a young man who knew something about time management and understood how to successfully juggle Bible study and blow jobs. I went to bed alone that night thinking it served me right for not being religious.

Hmm… I wonder if the advance Curtis got for his book was bigger than the check Tommy gave him to write that? But really, we shouldn’t jump to conclusions and assume that 19-year-old Tommy was Hugh Hefner-ing. Maybe he knew he was going to be an A-list star and was doing pre-interviews for possible beards. Or maybe that girl wasn’t fixing her hair when she came out. Maybe she was pulling it out in frustration because she showed up to hump Tom Cruise and all he wanted to do was recite bible verses to her ass.

Pic: Getty/Warner Bros.

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