Diseases are getting dragged this week. First, Hanson compared Chlamydia to Justin Bieber’s voice, and now Lorde is saying that being friends with Taylor Swift is like being friends with someone with an autoimmune disease. Hanson has yet to burp up a sorry for shitting on Chlamydia like that, but Lorde has apologized, and probably because she realized that someone with a disease like Lupus already has enough to deal with and they don’t need to be compared to the exhaustive snake in Skipper’s clothing.
To sell her new album Melodrama, Lorde talked to The Guardian about what her life has been like since she became a STAH thanks to Royals. Lorde doesn’t only look like Snow White’s old witch after getting fillers, she says she talks like a witch too. I took that to mean that Lorde says, “I’ll get you, my pretty!”, a lot, but she means she “meanders” a lot when she talks. So when Taylor hands Lorde an invitation to her Fourth of July party before yanking it back and saying, “Psych, I don’t invite mega bitches to my parties!“, Lorde can explain by saying, “I was just doing my usual old witch talk and meandered into comparing hanging out with you to hanging out with an MS patient!”
Lorde is friends with a few famous people, including Taylor, Lena Dunham and Florence Welch, and says that being friends with celebrities is a little difficult.
“It’s like having a friend with very specific allergies. There are certain places you can’t go together. Certain things you can’t do. There are these different sets of considerations within the friendship. It’s like having a friend with an autoimmune disease.
That analogy hit the outrage switch in some people, which made Lorde apologize and say that she didn’t mention Taylor by name.
didn't mention taylor, but regardless, i fucked up & that was really insensitive. i'm sorry 🌹
— Lorde (@lorde) June 20, 2017
I see what Lorde was trying to say with that analogy, but I don’t know if it works for me. I would think that hanging out with Taylor is more like being someone who is suffering from a severe head cold, diarrhea and narcolepsy. As soon as Taylor begins to talk, your ears ache, you get the dizzies, your head throbs and you shit yourself before falling asleep.
And here’s Lorde, who is totally going to be put on Squad Member probation for this, at Much Music Awards in Toronto on Sunday night.