Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Man Bun Ken!

Last year, Mattel tried to diverse up Barbie by making her in different body shapes (curvy, tall and petite), skin tones and hair types. Mattel had those human Barbie messes screaming their plastic tonsils off by saying that the Barbie of the now isn’t just only a mega skinny white blonde with a thigh gap wider than the Amazon River, huge nipple-less chichis and a waist you can only get if you remove all of your ribs and get a skin-colored waist trainer permanently installed on your body. Now it’s Ken’s turn to get diversified.

The Los Angeles Times says that today, Mattel will start selling a line of 15 Ken dolls, that like the new Barbies, come in seven different skin tones, three body types and hairstyles. Ken’s body now comes in “original,”  “slim” and “broad,” which some people are calling “dad bod,” but I’m calling “skinny fat gay blogger.” The new hairstyles include cornrows and the dreaded MAN BUN!!!!!

At least two of the new Kens are working a bronut. There’s the man bun-wearing Ken on the left who looks like a Jersey Shore douche (complete with tweezed to perfection brows) headed to Coachella after his girlfriend styled him in clothes bought from Asos. And there’s the man bun-wearing Ken on the right who’s a Gaysian twink with shit fashion sense and yes, he’s going to Coachella too. Here’s a close-up look at that doody-looking plastic bun on new Ken’s head:

manbunkendoll2-2017

Robert Best, senior director of Barbie Design, tells the L.A. Times that they plan to further hipsterize Ken. In the future, Barbie isn’t going to be Ken’s only beard. Mattel plans to give him facial hair so he can get a job as a cold-pressed coffee sommelier at the Whole Foods in Williamsburg.

Man Bun Ken doesn’t even come close to beating the exquisite hair game of Jewel Secrets Ken, Totally Hair Ken and Cock Ring Magic Ken, but I will him! Because, well, it’s the closest we’ll ever get to seeing Ken with a bulge.

Pics: Mattel/ABC

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