Hot Slut Of The Day!

The sea creature that serious scientists call the “peanut worm” but everyone else either calls it the penis worm or more eloquently: That’s a dick!

Over the weekend, IBTimes UK reported about how a team of scientists from the Museums Victoria returned from a month-long research trip in the deep sea of eastern Australia and brought back their findings. Sure, they brought back pictures of a bunch of deep sea creatures like a red spiny crab (“Big deal, I can see dozens of those when I look down my undies.” – Scott Disick), a cookie cutter shark and a sea pig, but who cares about any of those bitches since none of them look like a dick!

Scientists found the ocean’s dildo 4,000 meters down under the sea (and they may or may not have found it by rudely going through SpongeBob’s bedside table drawer). It got the name “peanut worm” because when it senses danger, it goes into itself. Who knew that rare deep sea creatures and human peens are so much alike? Because most human peens also go into themselves when they sense danger (aka the Screech sex tape, Justin Bieber moaning in a song, the sight of Parasite Hilton taking off her chonies, etc…).

The name actually comes from the fact that when threatened these animals can contract their long head inwards and resemble a peanut. They can reproduce both sexually and asexually.

Of course, since many of us on the internet are hard-up, desperate trollops, people are actually thirsting over the double-sided sea dildo (which comes in cut and uncut) and considering booking a deep sea diving trip to eastern Australia. And no, I’m not one of them! I’m desperate, but I’m not at “thirsting over a sea dildo” levels of desperate. That’s disgusting! (Cut to my dog putting his paws over his eyes in shame as he watches me search flights to Australia in between cutting a hole in the butt part of a scuba wetsuit.)

Pic: Rob Zugaro/@IBTimesUK