It looks like someone has been learning a thing or two while playing dodgeball with the other toddler brats on the playground. Seven years ago, when Justin Bieber was just a fetus-aged asshole, someone perfectly hit his helmet of hair with a water bottle during a show. Well, what a difference seven years and dodging lessons from Dubya make.
The Biebs was performing at Summerburst Festival in Stockholm over the weekend when the chirrun in the audience screamed at him to do Despacito, the song that dry fucks me raw in the ears every time I walk into any store. The remix of the Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee song Despacito, which Justin Bieber whines on, is still a big hit. Last month, the Biebs performed Despacito and he didn’t even try to sing the Spanish words. You would think that maybe he’d learn his part by now so that he can do the song for his fans. Actually, you wouldn’t think that since everyone knows he’s a lazy over-filled diaper who hates his fans. So when the kids in Sweden asked him to do Despacito, he refused and said he doesn’t even know it. One “fan” responded by throwing a bottle at his head. That fan should’ve thrown a Rosetta Stone: Español at his ass instead. Or maybe a singing Baby Abuelita doll, because she could teach him a Spanish word or two. (Side note: And now I really hope that Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee replace Justin Bieber with a singing Baby Abuelita doll on the Despacito remix.)
How embarrassing! I’m not talking about Justin Bieber for once. He actually did a nice thing by refusing to bring shame upon the Spanish language even more. I’m talking about the bottle chucker. Their aim is so bad that even a Bieber can dodge that shit.