Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 6, 2017 / Posted by:

The Slide King of the Caribbean!

At a Raging Waters in heaven right now, Jesus is standing at the top of a slide and is quietly saying to himself, “You got this, JC, don’t let the Slide King of the Caribbean show you up,” as he attempts to gracefully butt slide along the water like a swan on speed. Twitter user Morgan Evick was on vacation at a resort in Jamaica when he got to witness Aquaman’s long-lost brother give the people a show by sliding across the pool and sticking that landing. Whenever Neptune can’t find seaweed, or whatever, to wipe with after making a caca, he cleans his ass by butt-scooting across the water like this, and it’s magnificent.

I slow clapped at that butt slide, I stood up at that landing and I fell back when he smoothly put on his shirt and strolled off. Since nearly everything on the internet is a lie, that little clip could be the work of green screen wizard master Chroma Key Grandma. If it’s real, the Slide King of the Caribbean deserves a gold medal in sliding, and if it’s fake, the Chroma Key Grandma deserves a gold medal in fakery.

Pic: @MorganEvick  via Time

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