Last week, Dani Mathers, the former Playboy Playmate/current real life villain, accepted a community service plea deal after being charged with invasion of privacy for using Snapchat to body shame a naked woman at her gym. Dani recently sat down with Kayna Whitworth for Good Morning America to cry about how awful her life is now.
The Criss that I want to see 95% naked on Instagram is Criss Angel (I’m joking, my taste isn’t that much of a mess. Yes, it is.), but I’ll gladly take the almost-naked bait that Darren Criss dangled last night.
Darren is playing psycho killer Andrew Cunanan in The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story and they’re currently filming it. Earlier this month, the paparazzi got pictures of Darren wetting his nipples and wearing a speedo while filming a beach shower scene for ACS in Miami. And last night, he decided to earn a dozen THOT points by giving his followers a sequel to those Speedo pictures. Darren stripped down, worked his Mattel-made V-line thing (or “69 hand grips” as I call them), made an “Ooh! I said one finger and you gave me two, but I like it” face and followed Instagram’s prudish guidelines by covering his peen area with a Speedo.
Since Nick Jonas has kept his shirt on lately, some dude has gotta shamelessly pander to the gays and straight teen girls for Instagram likes. So I say, keep setting those thirst traps, Blaine from Glee!
Deadline reports that Fox announced that Vanessa Hudgens, former star of Disney and noted rock vandal, got herself a gig as a judge on the fourteenth season of So You Think You Can Dance. The judging panel will be comprised of the owner of the most British name, Nigel Lythgoe, and the cheer-bot built out of scrap parts collected from Marie Osmond and Paula Abdul, Mary Murphy. Vanessa was in a promo for SYTYCD a few weeks ago, and they called her a “guest judge,” but it turns out she’s a permanent judge. The new season premieres on June 12th. Nigel released a statement about Vanessa joining the panel.
“I am so excited for Vanessa to join Mary and me on the judging panel for the 14th season of So You Think You Can Dance. There was instant chemistry in the audition rounds, and I know the SYTYCD fans will love her as much as we do. Vanessa is an accomplished artist and brings her own brand of enthusiasm and energy to our panel.”
Vanessa has never formally judged a TV show before (she appeared once on Project Runway), and she may not be that well known for her dance skills. But she did do some decent “hoofing” (as it’s known in the biz) in High School Musical and Grease: Live, and really, what greater qualifications do you need for reality TV? Vanessa tweeted that she’s “so excited!!!” for her new job. I’m sure she is. Vanessa’s last job was starring on NBCs Powerless, which was cancelled three episodes before the season finale. Thankfully there’s a lot more job security in reality competition shows. Especially dancing ones. You just can’t recreate the drama of dance in your bedroom in a video uploaded to YouTube.
That’s great, because I think the rest of us were ready to move on from this drawn-out divorce drama about eight to nine months ago. But first! One more magazine cover about how she’s ready to move on. Jennifer Garner is the star of this week’s issue of People. She may look like she’s trying to sell wrinkle cream or wondering what’s in your wallet, but we’ll never find out what she’s really thinking. She doesn’t technically say anything to People. “Insiders” do the talking about her post-marriage life.
The Green and Brown M&M who may have come out as gayelle lovahs two years ago and none of us knew! (Apologies to those of you who have been shipping the lesbian M&M couple for years and are highly offended by me saying you didn’t know about this IT couple of the decade!)
During Gay Pride Month in 2015, M&M’s official Twitter account tweeted a picture of Ms. Green and Ms. Brown holding hands as the gentle ocean breezes caressed their floating brows. Ms. Green M&M, who wrote the caption, said that she and Ms. Brown were sharing a quiet moment away from those pesky other tricks. Green and brown are the warmest colors.
It’s rare Ms. Brown and I get to spend time together without some colorful characters barging in. – Ms. Green
That two-year-old tweet made the rounds this week, and as far as I know, Ms. Green and Ms. Brown haven’t said anything about it since. In the long-running docu-series about the lives of M&Ms (aka M&Ms commercials), Mr. Red, Mr. Yellow and Mr. Blue are always fighting over Ms. Green and she kind of flirts back. She’s also been romantically linked to some of them. Maybe Ms. Green is bi, or maybe all M&Ms are poly pansexuals? Who knows, but I do know that the love lives of M&Ms are more interesting than mine (that’s not saying much, though) and I also know that I support it. And now I better end this post before I start writing M&M fanfic about an orgy that ends with Mr. Yellow nutting on them all.
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