Nearly every weekday morning when Matt Lauer’s smug face pops up on my screen, I ask myself, “Why do I watch the Today show?” But I really asked myself that this morning when they aired this video of a snake barfing out another snake. I also asked myself, “Why do I have email?“, when a reader sent me the same video. This ninth circle-approved video is one that sicks bitches with faunoiphilia, emetophilia and vore fetishes have been waiting for. If you don’t know what any of those fetishes are, don’t Google ’em. It’s too early in the week for a video of a snake reverse deep-throating another snake and it’s really too early in the week to learn about those fetishes.
Over the weekend, Christopher Reynolds, a videographer from Newton, Texas, caught a giant snake chilling out and he started record it. A quick second later, the snake started vomming up another snake. Gizmodo asked snake expert Sara Ruane about what’s going on here, and she said what Christopher basically says in the video. Snakes eat each other all the time and the black snake barfed up the other snake because it got startled by Christopher’s presence. So it puked up its baggage and made a slither for it!
“Snakes eat each other all the time. When snakes are startled by something or something is attacking them, one of their first lines of defense is to throw up whatever is in their stomach.”
This is probably what it would look like if Jon Hamm and Michael Fassbender ever busted out a sword fight. One giant dick would end up eating the other.
And I bet that black snake is sneering at Christopher like, “Why are looking at me like you’re grossed and weirded out? Bitch, your kind wears CROCS out in public. The end.”