Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 29, 2017 / Posted by:

Bacardi Breezers!

Today is Memorial Day, a national holiday for Americans to pay tribute and thank the men and women who died while protecting our freedoms and defending our country. It’s also a national holiday that some ‘Mericans use as an excuse to get day drunk before drunkenly trying to enter in a coupon code on Target.com to get an extra 15% off a NutriBullet, or whatever. So on that highly tasteful note, that leads me to today’s HSOTD: the brand of sweet nectar that was to blame for many post-Memorial Day hangovers in the 90s.

When I was underage, my booze of choice was Strawberry Hill (I know, I’m acting like it still isn’t my booze of choice), but in the 90s, many teenagers got drunk on the flavored corn syrup water with .000001% alcohol called Bacardi Breezers. Bacardi Breezers is basically a rum-based alcopop that comes in a million different flavors. Kids in Canada, Europe, Australia and parts of Asia and Africa are yacking up Bacardi-infused colored barf today, because Bacardi Breezers are still sold in those parts. But Bacardi Breezers became a thing of the past here in the U.S. sometime around 2009.

Bacardi released Breezers in the late-80s and by 1990, it was at the top of the booze game in the U.S. and over 4 million cases were sold that year. I’m going to guess that 3.99 million of those cases were guzzled down at 11pm in the park by high schoolers blasting Depeche Mode on a boombox. You weren’t a teen in the 90s until you tried to convince your mom that the bright-colored Bacardi Breezers stain on your b.u.m. equipment shirt was just sodie pop. I’m not exactly sure why Bacardi Breezers’ booze reign came to a giant end in the U.S. in the 2000s, but I’m sure that catkind laughed at its downfall. Several ads for Bacardi Breezers starred a cat, and in this one, the cat is a pussy-blocking pussy who spikes a douche’s water with a goldfish.

Catkind was probably not happy about those ads, because we all know that they have refined tastes. They’d never touch a Bacardi Breezer. They preferred a more elegant alcoholic 90s beverage like Zima!

Pic: Flickr

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