One of the biggest problems with our current society is everyone’s thirst for instant fame. I blame people like Tyra Banks, who decided years ago it would be fun to take regular mu’fuckas, throw them on TV and make them famous during everyone’s favorite smizing hour, America’s Next Top Model.
Well, thankfully, karma has delivered its invoice to Tyra in the form of a lawsuit aimed at the producers of her newest gig, America’s Got Talent.
Deadline reports that the lawsuit against Marathon Productions is being filed on behalf of a woman referred to only as Jane Doe (you can read it here), who claims that Tyra became a very nasty woman on AGT when she “physically manipulated and verbally abused” her young daughter, Mary Doe (I can’t even), after Jane and her husband performed a song for the judges during a March 19th performance.
The suit claims that during the performance, Banks, “an individual acting as an agent of Defendants, physically manipulated and verbally abused Mary. Banks shook Mary’s shoulder, pulled Mary’s hair back and physically manipulated Mary. … Mary did not stop Banks’ conduct because Mary was fearful. Banks also insinuated that Mary was accidentally conceived, made fun of the performance and ridiculed [the song] in front of Mary, all in front of active cameras that were filming Mary. After the performance, Banks asked Mary to describe, in front of active and filming cameras, her opinion about Jane and her husband after they were publicly ridiculed by AGT. … As a result of her negative experience from AGT and Defendants’ abusive treatment, Mary was traumatized and became deeply depressed.”
This whole story reads like Lost Tales from the Looney Bin. I’m going to take a shot in the dark and guess that Jane and her husband (whose name is probably Whaddup Doe maybe?) put on a really shitty performance. That made all of the judges and audience members point and laugh like the kids at the prom from the movie Carrie, and as Mary watched from the sidelines, Tyra put her arm around her before giving her a quick makeover. Because well, that’s how she comforts the less famous.
This all reeks of “GIMME SOME HUSH MONEY!” fuckery and seems like a complete waste of everyone’s time. And do you know how I’ve come to this conclusion? Because according to the suit, a few weeks after AGT filmed the Doe family’s wack shenanigans, they requested that none of their footage, including Mary’s reaction, be used for the show.
It claims that Marathon execs agreed not to feature Mary as part of the program and “acknowledged Mary’s emotional distress.” But the plaintiffs also wanted the song’s performance kept off the air, for fear of causing “further emotional distress.” The lawsuit says AGT “maintained that they will exploit all footages of Jane and her husband and that they will not air those footages in their entirety.”
I’ma need the Gimme-Some-Doe family to buy a vowel because Oh. My. God!, this is some bullshit for real. And I’m sure this won’t change the way Tyra reacts to awful contestants, although now would be the perfect time for her to dust off her Academy Award worthy “I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!” routine whenever somebody’s performance sucks roach balls.